I’ve never been one to share experiences but tonight I got a urge to do so. No clue. Here is the deal: Yesterday I completed thirty consecutive nightly ritualized godform meditations. Everyday I have completed the same series of workings. I have taken a ritual bath, performed a relaxation ritual, the 4-fold breath, LBRP, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, meditated upon the godform THEMIS, Adoration of the Lord of the Universe, and finally the LBRP. Thirty evenings meeting the gaze of a matronly goddess as she graced me with the touch of her scales. Thirty days of balance and a gentle urging. Today, with the new moon I began my second month of meditations. The excitement of working with the new godform, MAAT hit me upon waking. Her name and image haunted my mind all day. Finally after papers, classes, discussions, phone calls, and a long walk I performed the work. The only word that comes to mind is peace. In that time and place i was no longer a student closer to 30 that he would like. There are no words for the feeling. A quiet numbness still lingers as I write this. Looking back over the past thirty days I’m laughing. Over the past five years my practice was lacking in determination. Thirty days ago I took steps to ground my practice in action, to live what I believed. There have been worries, joys and more than a bit of research. It has been great to get out of the armchair. Maybe I’m sharing to let those who are starting on their path know that the dedication pays off. That it is better to DO rather than MEAN TO. That in the depths of tedium amazing things find you. Or maybe I’m just feeling a bit self glorifying and want attention. Oh fuck it. Now for something completely different.


2 thoughts on “Pushing through and Looking Back

  1. I got your message – and it helped, it really did. Maybe it was meant for me. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Its about the doing, the actual bodily activity. Thanks for sharing

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